being PATIENT.
We've been talking a lot more lately, and it makes me miss him that much more.
This evening he told me that I'm his favorite person. How do you top that?
I'm impatient for February. It's a 90% yes that he'll be meeting me in AZ. And I'm completely impatient. **sigh** well... i'll be sending him his care-package soon... i wish i could fit myself into a Flat-rate mailer.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Because without LOVE. Everything sucks.
“Righteousness without love makes us hard. Faith without love makes us fanatical. Power without love makes us brutal. Duty without love makes us peevish. Orderliness without love makes us petty.”
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Why I don't celebrate christmas.
For everyone asking me why i don't celebrate Christmas.... My reply has simply been copied and pasted. Feel free to ask questions. :)
The following is taken from the book "What does the Bible really teach?" It's a publication from Jehovah's Witnesses, take note tho, that there are quotes from books that are not affiliated with Jehovah's Witnesses.
CHRISTMAS—NOT CELEBRATED BY EARLY CHRISTIANS
A person’s worship could be contaminated by false religion as it relates to popular holidays. Consider Christmas, for example. Christmas supposedly commemorates the birth of Jesus Christ, and nearly every religion that claims to be Christian celebrates it. Yet, there is no evidence that the first-century disciples of Jesus observed such a holiday. The book Sacred Origins of Profound Things states: “For two centuries after Christ’s birth, no one knew, and few people cared, exactly when he was born.”
Even if Jesus’ disciples had known the exact date of his birth, they would not have celebrated it. Why? Because, as The World Book Encyclopedia says, the early Christians “considered the celebration of anyone’s birth to be a pagan custom.” The only birthday observances mentioned in the Bible are those of two rulers who did not worship Jehovah. (Genesis 40:20; Mark 6:21) Birthday celebrations were also held in honor of pagan deities. For example, on May 24 the Romans celebrated the birthday of the goddess Diana. On the following day, they observed the birthday of their sun-god, Apollo. Hence, birthday celebrations were associated with paganism, not with Christianity.
There is another reason why first-century Christians would not have celebrated Jesus’ birthday. His disciples likely knew that birthday celebrations were connected with superstition. For instance, many Greeks and Romans of ancient times believed that a spirit attended the birth of each human and protected that one throughout life. “This spirit had a mystic relation with the god on whose birthday the individual was born,” says the book The Lore of Birthdays. Jehovah certainly would not be pleased with any observance that would link Jesus with superstition. (Isaiah 65:11, 12) So how did Christmas come to be celebrated by many people?
THE ORIGIN OF CHRISTMAS
It was not until several hundred years after Jesus lived on the earth that people began to commemorate his birth on December 25. But that was not the date of Jesus’ birth, for it evidently took place in October.* So why was December 25 chosen? Some who later claimed to be Christian likely “wished the date to coincide with the pagan Roman festival marking the ‘birthday of the unconquered sun.’” (The New Encyclopædia Britannica) In winter, when the sun seemed weakest, pagans held ceremonies to get this source of warmth and light to come back from its distant travels. December 25 was thought to be the day that the sun began its return. In an effort to convert pagans, religious leaders adopted this festival and tried to make it seem “Christian.”#
The pagan roots of Christmas have long been recognized. Because of its unscriptural origin, Christmas was banned in England and in some of the American colonies during the 17th century. Anyone who even stayed home from work on Christmas day had to pay a penalty. Soon, though, the old customs were back, and some new ones were added. Christmas once again became a big holiday, and that is what it still is in many lands. Because of the connections that Christmas has with false religion, however, those who want to please God do not celebrate it or any other holiday that has its roots in pagan worship.
The following is taken from the book "What does the Bible really teach?" It's a publication from Jehovah's Witnesses, take note tho, that there are quotes from books that are not affiliated with Jehovah's Witnesses.
CHRISTMAS—NOT CELEBRATED BY EARLY CHRISTIANS
A person’s worship could be contaminated by false religion as it relates to popular holidays. Consider Christmas, for example. Christmas supposedly commemorates the birth of Jesus Christ, and nearly every religion that claims to be Christian celebrates it. Yet, there is no evidence that the first-century disciples of Jesus observed such a holiday. The book Sacred Origins of Profound Things states: “For two centuries after Christ’s birth, no one knew, and few people cared, exactly when he was born.”
Even if Jesus’ disciples had known the exact date of his birth, they would not have celebrated it. Why? Because, as The World Book Encyclopedia says, the early Christians “considered the celebration of anyone’s birth to be a pagan custom.” The only birthday observances mentioned in the Bible are those of two rulers who did not worship Jehovah. (Genesis 40:20; Mark 6:21) Birthday celebrations were also held in honor of pagan deities. For example, on May 24 the Romans celebrated the birthday of the goddess Diana. On the following day, they observed the birthday of their sun-god, Apollo. Hence, birthday celebrations were associated with paganism, not with Christianity.
There is another reason why first-century Christians would not have celebrated Jesus’ birthday. His disciples likely knew that birthday celebrations were connected with superstition. For instance, many Greeks and Romans of ancient times believed that a spirit attended the birth of each human and protected that one throughout life. “This spirit had a mystic relation with the god on whose birthday the individual was born,” says the book The Lore of Birthdays. Jehovah certainly would not be pleased with any observance that would link Jesus with superstition. (Isaiah 65:11, 12) So how did Christmas come to be celebrated by many people?
THE ORIGIN OF CHRISTMAS
It was not until several hundred years after Jesus lived on the earth that people began to commemorate his birth on December 25. But that was not the date of Jesus’ birth, for it evidently took place in October.* So why was December 25 chosen? Some who later claimed to be Christian likely “wished the date to coincide with the pagan Roman festival marking the ‘birthday of the unconquered sun.’” (The New Encyclopædia Britannica) In winter, when the sun seemed weakest, pagans held ceremonies to get this source of warmth and light to come back from its distant travels. December 25 was thought to be the day that the sun began its return. In an effort to convert pagans, religious leaders adopted this festival and tried to make it seem “Christian.”#
The pagan roots of Christmas have long been recognized. Because of its unscriptural origin, Christmas was banned in England and in some of the American colonies during the 17th century. Anyone who even stayed home from work on Christmas day had to pay a penalty. Soon, though, the old customs were back, and some new ones were added. Christmas once again became a big holiday, and that is what it still is in many lands. Because of the connections that Christmas has with false religion, however, those who want to please God do not celebrate it or any other holiday that has its roots in pagan worship.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Photography is my drug...
Time with Tarzan and Piotr makes me happy.
Look at this evil little face.
He doesn't like his singing face.. but i see nothing wrong with it... at least he doesn't look like John Mayer.
Birds Eye view??
TOES!
Hahah!
Beardybeard!
Tarzan was bored...
LOL... grouchybutt.
I love this one.
Look at this evil little face.
He doesn't like his singing face.. but i see nothing wrong with it... at least he doesn't look like John Mayer.
Birds Eye view??
TOES!
Hahah!
Beardybeard!
Tarzan was bored...
LOL... grouchybutt.
I love this one.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
85286
"Oh, I said, It's Arizona."
"Now taste.. all i ever needed.. all i ever wanted.. So hold on to surrender."
There's truly no reason for me to go into the many, many.... MANY events that went down in Arizona. There were good, bad, INCREDIBLY GREAT, and SUPER UGLY.
I've never felt THIS SAD to be coming home. I have something there thats new.... it's fresh... it's... basically insane. I don't even know where to start with it.
Down to it, what I'm saying, is that I'm looking to become a Dual State Citizen. From Nov 1st to May 1st, I'll be an Arizonaian. From May 2nd to October 31'st, I'll be a Hawaiian.
Its the plan. I just have to see how LT would work. IF it would. If not, i have a backup job. thats the great thing. i ALREADY have a job. I have a place to stay, and with the job, i'll help pay the mortgage. I've already got a huge circle of friends. some.... romance.. haha.
I'll have PURPOSE there... i don't feel like i have purpose here. its pathetic.
But yeah... thats it. hahah. I'll be moving.
"Now taste.. all i ever needed.. all i ever wanted.. So hold on to surrender."
There's truly no reason for me to go into the many, many.... MANY events that went down in Arizona. There were good, bad, INCREDIBLY GREAT, and SUPER UGLY.
I've never felt THIS SAD to be coming home. I have something there thats new.... it's fresh... it's... basically insane. I don't even know where to start with it.
Down to it, what I'm saying, is that I'm looking to become a Dual State Citizen. From Nov 1st to May 1st, I'll be an Arizonaian. From May 2nd to October 31'st, I'll be a Hawaiian.
Its the plan. I just have to see how LT would work. IF it would. If not, i have a backup job. thats the great thing. i ALREADY have a job. I have a place to stay, and with the job, i'll help pay the mortgage. I've already got a huge circle of friends. some.... romance.. haha.
I'll have PURPOSE there... i don't feel like i have purpose here. its pathetic.
But yeah... thats it. hahah. I'll be moving.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
It's like my hearts been ripped out...
I'm sad.
This transition is so much harder than I thought it was going to be.
I see that it was foolish of me to think that I could do this un-noticed. But I guarantee that it's quite noticed.
I feel bad. I feel guilty. The STUPID thing, is that I SHOULDN'T feel bad or guilty... or even SAD. but here I am... tears in hand...
i feel like there's a hole in my chest where my heart's supposed to be. my stomach hurts all the time now... Its the worry, its the guilt, its the loss.
Epiphany. its not guilt... I'm grieving.. the problem is, that its all the same. i SHOULDN'T feel the need to grieve.
I'm a different person now, or I'm trying to be. I can't live with the things I was living with... and at the same time, now i feel kind of empty. I know its just Satan trying his best to stop me from doing what I know is going to be so good for me.
So now, to fill this hole with NEW things. Things that won't distract me. Things that help.
I've never done this before... I didn't think it'd be this depressing. I'm so depressed that I don't even wanna go on this trip that mom and I had planned for months.
The 4 People I've known the longest in my life agree that I'm better off. I know that I am... I just don't quite know how to quit. Even tho time and time again, I've been hurt because of it.
Currently, I can't admit the truth of the matter. I see it, i hear it, i feel it. But still, i deny it.
Its funny. On my way back from Hau'ula tonight, Joel passed out in the back seat and Toph and i were talking... i came to the conclusion that "my kids"... Christopher, Joel, and Peter... they're like my version of Jacob Black.. without the superhot attraction LOL.
But as soon as they got in the car... there was no hole. i didn't feel sad. i didn't feel empty, or guilty, or upset. the pain in my stomach and my heart disappeared. We thought that was funny.
Sometimes in life you wish you could erase certain people and certain situations. But you can't.
**sigh** thats life... you can choose to go on without it, or you can choose to live with the pain. And STUPIDLY, SADLY... even PATHETICALLY.... I'm on the fence.
This transition is so much harder than I thought it was going to be.
I see that it was foolish of me to think that I could do this un-noticed. But I guarantee that it's quite noticed.
I feel bad. I feel guilty. The STUPID thing, is that I SHOULDN'T feel bad or guilty... or even SAD. but here I am... tears in hand...
i feel like there's a hole in my chest where my heart's supposed to be. my stomach hurts all the time now... Its the worry, its the guilt, its the loss.
Epiphany. its not guilt... I'm grieving.. the problem is, that its all the same. i SHOULDN'T feel the need to grieve.
I'm a different person now, or I'm trying to be. I can't live with the things I was living with... and at the same time, now i feel kind of empty. I know its just Satan trying his best to stop me from doing what I know is going to be so good for me.
So now, to fill this hole with NEW things. Things that won't distract me. Things that help.
I've never done this before... I didn't think it'd be this depressing. I'm so depressed that I don't even wanna go on this trip that mom and I had planned for months.
The 4 People I've known the longest in my life agree that I'm better off. I know that I am... I just don't quite know how to quit. Even tho time and time again, I've been hurt because of it.
Currently, I can't admit the truth of the matter. I see it, i hear it, i feel it. But still, i deny it.
Its funny. On my way back from Hau'ula tonight, Joel passed out in the back seat and Toph and i were talking... i came to the conclusion that "my kids"... Christopher, Joel, and Peter... they're like my version of Jacob Black.. without the superhot attraction LOL.
But as soon as they got in the car... there was no hole. i didn't feel sad. i didn't feel empty, or guilty, or upset. the pain in my stomach and my heart disappeared. We thought that was funny.
Sometimes in life you wish you could erase certain people and certain situations. But you can't.
**sigh** thats life... you can choose to go on without it, or you can choose to live with the pain. And STUPIDLY, SADLY... even PATHETICALLY.... I'm on the fence.
Monday, November 30, 2009
I'm putting on
the New Personality.
Are you ready? I am. I'm so tired of this one.
The lines are clear, as are the reasons we don't cross them. I've crossed them and now I'm suffering for it.
But by putting on my New Personality... EVERYTHING changes.
And I'm committed.
Are you ready? I am. I'm so tired of this one.
The lines are clear, as are the reasons we don't cross them. I've crossed them and now I'm suffering for it.
But by putting on my New Personality... EVERYTHING changes.
And I'm committed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
